Why Cyclops is Awesome

“An homage to the coolest damn superhero ever.”   

What can I say about Cyclops, perennial leader of the X-Men, that would truly demonstrate just how awesome he is? What examples could I conjure of his undeniable badassery? As far as I am concerned, only one thing needs to really be said: HE SHOOTS LASER BEAMS FROM HIS FRICKIN’ EYES.

Really? That’s not enough for you? Well, I guess I could come up with more then…

Cyclops has always been one of my favourite superheroes, and for the past several years he’s solidified his top spot for me. He’s an unusual choice, sure. I get that he’s far from the most popular character, never really having a solo title, rarely if ever being mentioned in individual’s top 5, or 10. Or 50. Hell, a lot of the comic readers I know absolutely hate him, and we have heated arguments about it.

I guess you could say I first fell in man-love with Cyclops during the 90s, when I grew up watching the X-Men cartoons (still the best damn marvel cartoons ever, by the way). My friends say that he was whiny in the show, but I always saw a different person – a strong, capable leader who was absolutely dedicated to his purpose, and if that wasn’t enough, he shot laser beams from his frickin’ eyes. Yes, I am going to repeat that many times.

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"Even Dormammu bows before the awesome"

When I grew up some and got more into comics reading, he still struck me as awesome. He’s one of the greatest leaders in the Marvel Universe, easily rivalling the likes of Captain America in leadership and tactics. Remember that time when he was asked what Plan B was? Remember his answer? I do: “No. Not Plan B. Plan 2. Plan B implies we only have 26.” Now that’s a badass.

Back on to his mutant powers of awesomeness, he’s performed some incredible feats by shooting frickin’ laser beams from his frickin’ eyes. Remember when Cyclops killed (well, as close as you can kill) Apocalypse with one super-powered blast? Remember when he vaporised Mr. Sinister with one blast? Remember when he literally blasted a path through a mountain? Remember when he got pissed that a Sentinel had appeared on the mansion lawns, and he just took his visor off and literally disintegrated it? Yeah, they all happened. The man is out and out awesome, and it baffles me why he seems to attract the shaft.

cyclopsvapocalypse

 

"I'MMA FIRIN' MAH LAZOR!"

Or rather, it used to baffle me, because now I’ve figured it out. Do you know why all the stereotypically male comic readers don’t like Cyclops? It’s not because he’s a boy scout, or he’s boring, or whatever. It’s because he has slept with BOTH Jean Grey and Emma Frost, arguably the two hottest characters in the Marvel Universe. That’s right, the hatred of Cyclops stems purely from penis envy. And laser-beams-from-eyes envy.

cykeisthefuckingman

 

"Because f*** you, that's why."

This has been Blacksmith, firing lasers from my eyes for the Awesome Update.

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